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Women’s sexual rights in Islam

by I Need Allah
Women's sexual rights in Islam

Where does Islam stand when it comes to Women’s sexual rights in Islam. Many non-muslim ask do women have rights when it comes to sexual need or them just puppet of men. Even the same question asked by many Muslim women nowadays due to men behaves when it comes to sexual needs. Let’s look at what Islam says…

What we will know in the article-

  • In the eyes of Islam, women are sexual machines for men to enjoy?
  • Does Islam allow men to have free sex with their wives?
  • Wives are your crops    why this verse?
  • Is there no recognition of women’s sexual needs in Islam?
  • Has sex been given to men unilaterally in Islam?

Introduction

Many critics of Islam want to point out that in Islam, women’s sexual needs have no value, but men are given one-sided rights in this regard, men will fulfill their sexual needs whenever they want and the wife will always be ready to meet those needs. The incomplete reading of Quranic verses and hadiths plays a huge role in this notion. In fact, it is not possible to fully comprehend the teachings of Islam on any subject by looking at some verses of the Qur’an or some hadiths, but it can in many cases confuse the reader. In order to properly understand the teachings of Islam on a subject, one has to put all the verses of the Qur’an and all the hadiths in front of it. However, the purpose of my writing is just to show whether there is any recognition of women’s sexual needs in Islam. Let’s move on to the main discussion.

Chapter 1

Why this claim? Verse 223 of Surah Al-Baqarah says: “ Your wives are your crops. Use them as you wish. 

If this phrase is suddenly presented to someone, it may seem that the man is allowed to have sex with his wife whenever he wants – there is no need to even look at the advantages and disadvantages of the wife. Those who propagate such ideas usually cite some hadiths in support of their ideas after quoting this verse, such as: If a wife spends the night away from her husband’s bed, the angels continue to curse her until morning. [Muslim, English Translation of Hadith-3366]

By quoting the above passage and some hadiths like this, many want to prove that Islam has only established the sexual rights of men and has given women a free license to use them as sexual machines from time to time. Simply put, sexual rights in Islam are unilaterally for men! Is that really so?

Chapter 2

2.1 Dispelling Confusion About Verse 2: 223 of the Quran Eradicating Superstition

One of the superstitions among the Jews of Medina was that if a man had vaginal intercourse with his wife from behind, it was believed that it would result in the birth of a child with tara eyes. The Ansar of Medina were greatly influenced by the Jews in the pre-Islamic era. As a result, the Ansar were also obsessed with this superstition. The people of Makkah did not have this superstition. After the emigrants from Makkah migrated to Medina, a mishap occurred when one of the emigrants went to have intercourse with his Ansar wife from behind. The wife of Ansar misunderstood this method and informed that she would not do this without the permission of the Prophet (peace be upon him). As a result, the incident reached the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It is in this context that the Qur’anic verse (2: 223) is revealed, where it is meant that no matter which way the vagina passes in front or behind, there is no problem. Just as there is no problem in producing grain in whichever way or in whatever way the husband goes, there is no problem in producing children in whatever way the husband goes in his wife’s vagina and it has nothing to do with having Tara-eyed children. You can read the detailed commentary.   Another thing is that it is haraam to have anal sex. Click this link for details.

Therefore, the purpose of this verse is to eradicate a superstition propagated by the Jews, not to allow free sex when it is not for the benefit of the wife. This verse is quite uncomfortable for those who think that the Qur’an is borrowed from the books of the Jewish Christians or that Muhammad (peace be upon him) composed the Qur’an by listening to the Jewish Christians! The real free thinkers were supposed to praise this verse, but the admirable verse has been the target of criticism.

2.2 Analysis of the hadith regarding the curse of angels

Now let’s talk about the above hadith about cursing the angels. This hadith is also narrated in Bukhari in a more complete way: If a husband calls his wife to bed (for example, to have intercourse), and she refuses and forces him to sleep in a state of anger, the angels continue to curse her until morning.  [Bukhari, English translation Vol-4 / Book-54/460]

Take a look,

  • What is the husband doing when the wife is not responding to the husband’s call?
  • He is forcing his wife to assert his sexual rights?
  • Or asleep?

In this hadith, the wife is criticized for not responding to her husband’s call, but the man is not being encouraged to assert his rights by force. Again, if the wife wants to abstain from sexual intercourse due to illness or any other valid excuse, she will not be subject to this criticism at all, as one of the universally accepted principles of Islam is:

  • God does not burden anyone beyond his means.
  • GOD does not charge anyone beyond his means. [2:286]
  • I do not give anyone his impossible responsibilities. [23:62]

2.3 Has Islam only warned women?

It is true that Islam tells wives to be wary of their husband’s sexual needs, but it does not allow the husband to be aggressive in fulfilling his own desires, nor does it allow the husband to be careful of his wife’s sexual needs. Islam tells the wife to respond to her husband’s sexual needs even while she is cooking, while the man is told to treat his wife well unless she is well-mannered, he can never be a good believer or a good person. Even after knowing this, will a man call his wife for sexual needs without paying any attention to her convenience? Islam also warns men not to forget their wives’ sexual needs in order to satisfy their sexual needs. Many may be wondering, what am I talking about, where is all this?

Let’s look ahead.

Chapter 3

3.1 The importance of good behavior with wife in Islam

Take a closer look at the following hadiths:

Hadith-1

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: The perfect believer among the believers is the one whose conduct is good. And the best of you are those who are good to their wives.  [Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 1079]

Hadith-2

Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: The believer should not hate the believer (wife). If one of his habits is disliked, then another habit will be preferred.  [Muslim Hadith No. 1469, 2672]

Hadith-3

Narrated Aisha: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: The perfect believer among the believers is the one whose conduct is good and who is kind to his family.  [Tirmidhi, Hadith No. 2555]

  • 3.1.1 Then we see that the teachings of Islam are:
  • 3.1.1.1 A believing man cannot hate his believing wife.
  • 3.1.1.2 The condition for the fulfillment of faith is to be virtuous, gentle, kind to one’s wife and family.
  • 3.1.1.3 If a man wants to be good, he must be good to his wife.

The most important thing for a Muslim is his faith – the faith for which he does not hesitate to lay down his life – for the fulfillment of that faith there is no other way but to be virtuous, flexible and gracious with his wife. No Muslim can be considered good unless he treats his wife well.

3.1.2 Now the question is-

  • 3.1.2.1 Can a husband who does not pay attention to his wife’s sexual needs be better to her?
  • 3.1.2.2 Or can a husband who engages in sexual relations with his wife without regard to his wife’s advantages and disadvantages be better to his wife?
  • 3.1.3 The answer is no. Just as a good Muslim will take care of his wife’s biological needs, he will not create a situation that is difficult for his wife to fulfill his biological needs. No one can be good to his wife by misbehaving with her, nor can he be a perfect believer.

3.2 The importance of the wife’s sexual needs in Islam

Islam not only recognizes women’s sexual rights but the following hadith is a clear proof of how conscious they are about it.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should have intercourse with her in full. And when his needs are met (ejaculation occurs) while his wife’s needs remain unfulfilled, he should not rush. [Musannafe Abdur Razzak, Hadith No. 10468]

What is being said here? During intercourse, the man should not get up as soon as his own sexual needs are met, but should delay until his wife’s sexual needs are met. Even after seeing such a hadith with one’s own eyes, would it be right for someone to claim that there is no recognition of women’s sexual needs in Islam! All this is advice. But in reality, if one does not follow this advice, then it is the duty of his guardians and friends to warn such men, and women also have the right to complain to the Islamic State against their husbands. Some such incidents are coming up in Chapter Four. In addition, it is forbidden in Islam to have sexual intercourse without sexually arousing the wife during intercourse. Because even if the needs of the husband are met, the needs of the wife are not met and it is difficult for the wife. This will be highlighted in Chapter Five.

Chapter 4

In this chapter we will discuss some exemplary cases where the husband has been warned for neglecting his wife’s sexual rights, and even complained to the Islamic ruler against the husband.

Example-1

Narrated by Abu Musa Ashari: Hadrat ‘Uthman ibn Ma’un’s wife came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) with a dirty face and old clothes. They asked him, why are you in this condition? There is no one among the Quraish who is richer than your husband. He said, what will happen to us? Because my husband spends the night in prayer and the day in fasting. Then Prophet Karim (peace be upon him) entered. Then the wives of the Prophet told him about it. Then when he met Hadrat ‘Uthman ibn Ma’un, he said to him, “Is there no example for you in me?” Hadrat’ Uthman said, “What did you say, O Messenger of Allah?” My parents are dedicated to you! Then he said, “But do you not spend the night in prayer and the day in fasting?” But your family has a right over you, and you have a right over your body, you will pray, you will sleep, you will fast, you will break your fast. ” He said that then another day his wife came clean and fragrant like a bride.[Majmaye Jawaid, Hadith No.7 612; Sahih Ibn Hibban, Hadith No. 316]

Example 2:

Abu Zuhaifa (ra) said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) established brotherhood between Salman (ra) and Abu Darda (ra). Salman (ra) went to meet Abu Darda (ra) and saw Umm Darda (ra) [Abu Darda’s (ra) wife) in dirty clothes and asked her the reason for her condition. He said, “Your brother Abu Dardar does not need the world.” In the meantime Abu Darda came and prepared food for him (Salman) and said, “Take food because I am fasting.” Salman (ra) said, “If you don’t eat, I won’t eat.” So Abu Darda (ra) played. When night fell, Abu Darda (ra) got up (to offer the night prayer). Salman (ra) said, “Sleep”; He fell asleep. Abu Darda got up again (for prayer), and Salman (ra) said, “Sleep.” Towards the end of the night, Salman (ra) said to him, “Get up now (for prayer)”. So they both prayed and Salman (ra) Abu Darda (ra). ) Who said, “Your Lord has a right over you; You have the rights of your soul, you have the rights of your family; So everyone should be given their due. ” Later, Abu Darda met the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and mentioned this to him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Salman has told the truth.” [Bukhari, Hadith No. 1867]

Example-3:

Hadrat Abdullah bin Amr said: My father married me to a Quraish girl. That girl is real in my house. I did not pay any attention to him due to my special addiction to prayers, fasting, etc. One day my father Amr Ibn As came to his daughter-in-law and asked, “How did you find your husband?” She replied to a very good man or said a very good husband. He does not search my mind and does not come to my bed. On hearing this, he scolded me harshly and said harshly, “I married you a Quraish high-caste girl and you hung her like that?” He went to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and complained against me. He called me. When I arrived, he asked, “Do you fast all day?” I said yes. He asked, “Do you pray all night?” I said yes. He said, “But I fast and break my fast, pray and sleep, I associate with wives. Anyone who is not interested in my circumcision does not belong to my group. [Musnad Ahmad, Hadith No. 6441]

Example 4:

Qatadah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: A woman came to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and said: My husband prays all night and fasts all day. He said, “But do you mean that I forbid him to pray at night and to fast during the day?” The woman left. Then he came again and said as before. He also answered as before. Ka’b bin Sur (Rah.) Said, Amir al-mu’minin, he has the right. He asked, what kind of hawk? Ka’b (Rah.) Said, Ka’b (Rah.) Said, Allah has made four marriages lawful for him. So count him as one of the four and set aside for him one night every four nights. And give him one day every four days. Umar called her husband and told him that he would spend one night with her every four nights and break his fast every four days. [Musannafe Abdur Razzak, Hadith No: 12588]

Chapter 5

The importance of horns in Islam

Islam attaches great importance to intimacy with the wife before intercourse. Jumping on a woman’s genitals without preparing them for intercourse – which is extremely difficult for the wife – is called “animal intercourse” in Islam, and horny and passionate kissing before intercourse is called muwakkadah in the Sunnah. In this context, I will quote a part of a fatwa issued by Darul Ifta, Leicester, the UK in response to a woman’s question, so that the importance of horns in Islam becomes clear:

Imam Dailami (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated a hadith quoting Anas bin Malik ( may Allah be pleased with him) that: It is narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) that, “One should not fulfill his sexual desire to be his wife like an animal, but They should be aroused by kissing and talking. ” [Musnad al-Firdaus of Dailami, 2/55]

Imam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah be pleased with him) mentioned in his famous ‘Tibbe Nawabi’ that: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade intercourse before having sex. [See: ‘Nawabi in Tibet’, 183, from Jabir bin Abdullah]

Allama al-Munabi (may Allah be pleased with him) said:  “It is Sunnah to kiss horns and passionately before intercourse, and it is makrooh to do otherwise.” [Fayz al-Qadir, 5/115, Note: Hadith No. 6536] [Source]

Last words:

As I said at the beginning, the purpose of my writing is just to show whether there is any recognition of women’s sexual needs in Islam. Therefore, I did not intentionally add much of the Qur’an and Hadith here. But despite knowing as much as I have mentioned, no sane person would expect such accusations as ‘Islam has no value for women’s sexual needs’, ‘Islam has given free license to men to have free sexual intercourse with their wives’, ‘Islam has unilaterally given sexual rights to men’.

Book: Basar night ideal

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